Can I Get a Re-Do?

Let's just say things haven't been the best for the past few months. Actually, things have pretty much sucked since 2012 began. I lost my focus in school (temporarily) and I started to feel like I did when I worked at the hole. I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning and my workouts were suffering. My eating wasn't the best either; I stuck to my calorie goals but chose a lot of fast, processed shit because I couldn't be bothered to get up and put effort into preparing and cooking anything somewhat decent. Basically, I felt worthless and like I didn't deserve ANYTHING decent...and it took me until last month to figure out where this was all stemming from: my relationship. I knew it wasn't going to work, merely because I felt like I was putting 10000% effort into it and getting nothing in return. I was being lied to repeatedly, no time was devoted to me, and I was repeatedly blown off at the last minute. I was being taken advantage of and taken for granted. And the worst part is, I allowed it to happen. Actually, the worst part was I believed I deserved to put up with it. Finally, I stepped back and asked myself what the HELL are you doing?! Yeah, things were great in the beginning and they were awesome for awhile, but two months of feeling like this, esp when your partner KNOWS you do and continues to make you feel that way, is not a relationship I want to be a part of. So I got out. The first couple of weeks sucked and I barely got out of bed, but I still knew it was the right decision. Thankfully, I have a great support system behind me so that helped a lot.

Now, 3 weeks later, I'm ready to take charge of my health again. I'm feeling SO much better about myself and slowly healing the wounds created by all of that self-doubt.

So here it is, a brand new start! I saw my best friend a few weeks ago and he goes "Why do you keep trying to change yourself? You look perfect...and we can all thank Cathe and you for that." The problem is, I try too hard to be perfect, and that ain't ever gonna happen! Between my grades, my personality, and my body, I am always striving for that perfection when I really think that is part of what's hindering my progress. That fact slapped me in the face when I read a blog post a friend of mine on MFP suggested (http://www.niashanks.com/blog/letting-go-fat-loss-mindset). So the goals now have changed. I will workout, but I won't go balls-to-the-wall every.single.DAY. I'm going to try my hardest to stick to whole foods and limit the refined carbs. In fact, I just learned this in A&P, water follows all solutes, including sugar; I thought it was just salt. So even when you eat a bunch of sugars, you still get bloated. Not cool. The focus is gonna be shifted from perfection to doing the best I can: and I really mean doing the best I can. I'm not using it as an excuse anymore.