Words of Wisdom...and Some That Aren't So Wise

Reverb for 12/10: Wisdom Wisdom ~ What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)

This is a no-brainer. The wisest decision I made this year was to put my happiness before everything (fear included). I haven't been satisfied with how my life is panning out professionally, so actually taking that first step and re-assessing my goals and what I want in my life was crucial. I think the reason it took me so long to think about it was because I knew the result would be I needed to start over and that scared the crap out of me. It meant time and money was pretty much flushed down the drain. It meant I was going to have to start from the bottom up AGAIN (not that I got very far up as of now but still). Most of all it meant leaving the comfort of what I know and doing something totally different. That was probably the scariest part. What if it didn't work out? What if I couldn't find a decent job? What if I couldn't handle school all over again?

When I did my undergrad, I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. The only important thing in my head was I needed to make money: lots of money. I even remember thinking "I don't get people who complain about their jobs not being worth the money. If you're making bank, who cares what your job is all about?" I am so different now. I understand the importance of really being passionate about what you do for work. I mean, you're doing this for most of your day, every day, for most of your life, so you should at least like it. Not that I am making a lot of money now, but I know that even if I was, marketing is NOT for me. When I was an undergrad and it came time to choose a major, I decided the best thing to do was go with what came easily to me and that was business. Was I good at it? Yup. Did I love it? No. Really, all I wanted to do was graduate and be done.

Now when I think about PT, I get excited. I love reading articles about new therapies in the field. I love talking to current PTs, PTAs, and students about it. I get heated when I hear about funding getting cut. I get excited when I think about working with people and helping them all day every day and not sitting at a desk all day wondering "wtf is the point of this?"

I used to say "I wish I had thought of this sooner." I still do wish that, but at the same time, when I was an undergrad I wouldn't have even attempted it because it meant more schooling (which is dumb I know, but after 16 years of school all I wanted to do was be done). I'm glad I made this decision while I am old enough to know what I want and young enough to pursue it. It's gonna be really hard; I'm freaking out about the work, the tuition costs, moving away (again), but nothing that's worth it comes easily. There was a quote from Project Runway that I wrote on my board for whenever I'm having an oh-shit-what-the-hell-am-I-doing moment: "You don't win big unless you risk big." So true!

So last night was ladies' night. I didn't have a grilled cheese burger (woohoo!), but I did share some crab cakes and margherita pizza. And I only had 2 (small) drinks so that was definitely good. But I still feel like a bloated mess. My stomach is bothering me today and I'm blaming the spicy salsa they served with the crab cakes just because I can't think of another scapegoat right now.

You know what's funny? We were talking about the trip to Vegas coming up in May and almost at the same time we started blabbing about how we all need to lose weight. Then you get the moment of silence where everyone sizes each other up and the "Are you kidding me?", "You look great", "You don't need to lose anything" gets flung all over the place. It's weird how we are so hard on ourselves but when we look at someone else, we can say they look awesome. Why can't we do that for us?

I'm not gonna lie though I do need to lose something. I tried my jeans on from last year and they are SNUG. Ok, let's say I have a whole bakery pouring out of the tops of them. It is not pretty. I don't even think I can blame bloat on this one. Ok, I did wash them and put them in the dryer but still...I think neglecting my abs for 4 months did the trick. Also all the sugar I stuffed in my gord over the course of the fall didn't help. Add some stress to the mix and we have ourselves a problem. UGHHHHHHHHHHHH. It is an uphill battle. I am happy with my eating this week though, so hopefully there will be a loss in there.

Not sure if I will workout tonight. I'm running on 4 hours of sleep. Again, not the smartest idea but I was having so much fun last night that I didn't care about sleep. If my parking meter wasn't going to run out, I probably would have stayed later. Actually no, the 1/2 hour drive home was the main reason I left; I just wanted to get it over with! I'm lucky this was a scheduled rest week...