I am PMSing so bad this week, it isn't even funny. I don't remember it being this bad in awhile. I'm just so moody and the fact that I've fallen off the challenge for the last 3 days is really bringing me down. Last night, I was doing really well and then I just got insanely hungry right after dinner (same thing happened Sunday and Monday night). I had a banana and then it was all downhill from there: SF/FF sundae with a SF Vita top and NPB, 1/2 of a PBJ sandwhich, a granola bar. I wasn't even eating out of boredom; I was STARVING and when I'm that hungry I just start grabbing things and eating them. I know you're supposed to wait 20 min to see if you're still hungry but I didn't care; I wanted food and I wanted it now! And it's not like I didn't eat all day and waited until I got super famished to have a meal; I eat probably every 3-4 hours and between 7AM and 5PM, I eat about 900-1000 cals out of the 1800 ceiling cap. I don't get where it's coming from and sometimes I just feel powerless and I give up. This morning I was in a poopy mood because nothing I put on to wear looked right. I went through about 4 outfits until I just said F it and threw on a t-shirt and jeans, so now I feel fat and I look like a bum. SCORE.
Sorry for the depressing post. I am just so frustrated with dieting and watching what I do, what I eat, everything. Ever since I can remember, I have been overweight. I weighed 114 when I was 8. I remember going to the doctor and him having a talk with my mom about how heavy I was. I remember when she asked me "Do you find it hard to keep up with your friends when they run around?" I remember lying about my weight when we made players' cards for my softball team; I was 10 years old! I feel like I am on this never ending rollercoaster ride. I can't stand that my mind is preoccupied with thoughts about calories and how many I'm eating and how many I'm burning and can I eat that or is it too fattening? Ugh it is so frustrating and I want the cycle to end but sometimes I feel like I can't do it and I am destined to be this size forever which makes me just want to not even try anymore.
How do you cope with your struggles? How do you re-motivate yourself to get on track and most importantly, how do you stay on track? I'd love to hear your thoughts/comments!
(((Hugs))) Sounds like your having a bad day today :(
ReplyDeleteDieting is so exhausting, i mean just the planning,counting,measuring alone can get overwhelming and a bit tedious, but then to add on workouts and everyday stress and its enough to say the hell with it!
I hope your day gets better. As far as advice on the struggles, I'm still figuring it out myself(lol)! I try to stay on track with my eating as best i can and if i have a bad day/week i have to keep in mind that im human and im not perfect, i can't be perfect all the time. I almost dove into a piece of that chocolate cake last night. But that little voice said "if you eat it will it make you feel better?" and thats the only thing that stopped me.
Watching what i eat is the hardest thing i have done in my life!!! (no kidding)
Something that's helping me right now stay mentally strong is those free pod cast that are on my blog! Check them out when you get a chance =) Take care
Hi! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and commenting today. It definitely seems like we were in the same space last night! UGH. I really appreciate your honesty in this post. I too have battled overweight for much of my life...what a waste of the precious time we have here. I wish you well on this journey and hope you find the inspiration, motivation and support I have found here in the blogging community. And I hope we both have a better day!
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ReplyDeleteOk I accidentally deleted my own comment LOL! Here we go again...
ReplyDeleteThank you both so much for you kind words! I was definitely having an "off" day yesterday and just got REALLY down; I haven't had a low day like that in a long time. I'm such a type-A personality and I need to remember that I can't control absolutely everything that happens in my life, no matter how hard I try, and that I will slip up time and again. I have a hard time accepting that I can't be perfect 100% of the time. That is something I need to work on: accepting the bad as well as the good.
Amelia, someone else suggested the podcasts so I am definitely going to check those out! Thanks :)))